Some days I feel like a superhero rescuer. Cue the music! Sarah to the rescue!
Some nights, like tonight, I am far less confident. Baby Dragon threw up tonight. He's been doing so good. My head is racing with a million questions-- what's wrong? What am I doing wrong? Is he not going to make it? What's happening?
I have to remind myself that I canNOT save them all. Some are too broken, too diseased, too far gone to be pulled back.
GAWK!!!!
I hate it when they die. I hate the sadness in my heart and the questioning that happens. I hate the "What If" questions that play in my head.
So there's also a fine line to walk between cocky and confident, between all powerful and limited. Despite my very best efforts, some rescues still die. Some still won't be happy; some still will be stressed. I can only do what I can do even when that's not enough.
Carrying the ownership of every critters' success has its moments of choking me. I don't want the people & critters in my home to be sad or unhappy-- with the exception of Junie. I accept the fact that Junie is a brat and that will never change. He's happy when I leave him alone.
Anyways-- rescue is a hard & rewarding business. Some days you feel like a superhero and some days you feel like a janitor forced to clean up other people's messes. Somehow along the way you hopefully figure out how to enjoy the ride.
Just my musings tonight. . . . .
