Missing my Baby Girl Sancho

Facebook told me today that three years ago today, Sancho joined our family. The original pictures I posted show how bad she was. She had SEVERE MBD when I got her. Her bones were rubber. Her fingers were bent, her spine was curved and hunched. She was so tiny! Her dumb owner was told multiple times to get calcium, get a UVB light, and then to get her to the vet. He "never got around to it."

This overhead shot shows how bad her spine was. If you Google "MBD in reptiles," this picture of Sancho comes up.

Sancho did manage to grow and become stronger. She was never healthy though and in frequent pain. We had multiple toes removed because they were like mini grappling hooks that caught on everything.

I loved this girl.

Aw, baby. I miss her! I made the hard choice in the fall of 2015 to put her and Turbo down. She had gotten to where she couldn't climb or walk well. It became unfair to try to keep her alive.

Sancho & Turbo's ashes are in a beautiful wood box on my mantle next to the ashes of my old man dog, Kip. It's a place of honor for all of them. Sancho will always keep a very sweet spot in my heart.

An End

I got a phone call from my vet's office today, but since I was shopping, I sent it to voicemail. I knew they'd be calling about picking up the ashes of Turbo & Sancho, but I still wasn't able to deal with it. 

I sent my husband to pick it up. He handed to me and I started crying. 

The box is beautiful. 

I love the engraving on the top. 

It now sits on my mantle with Kip's ashes. It's where my beloveds rest. I'm going to add a bit of the fleece blankets I wrapped them up in last week to add on top of the box. 

Always in my heart. Turbo and Sancho. 

A Hard Memory-- comes with a warning note (see below)

WARNING NOTE: do not read this post if you are very tender hearted about dying animals. It's heart breaking. It's not gruesome or nasty but just really really sad. 

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On Monday when I put my beloved iguanas down, I had an extra traumatic experience that has been too painful to recount until now. I still expect to cry as I write this though. 

Sancho died very quickly and very peacefully. I held her as her breath slowed and she went to sleep for good. Her tail (where they injected her) bled on me and her nail scratched a hole in my shirt and her spines scratched up my arms, but she passed peacefully. 

Turbo didn't die quickly. He went to sleep and snuggled into my neck, but he didn't stop breathing. 

5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Sancho was long gone. The vet came in multiple times, but Turbo was still breathing. 

Finally- after about 35 minutes, the vet decided to give Turbo another injection. But, since there wasn't enough blood pressure left in his tail, he injected it into his belly. And then left. 

It must have hurt poor Turbo who reared up and struggled against me. His mouth was gaping and he was trying to thrash about. I kept trying to hold him and soothe him, but I couldn't hardly talk because I was sobbing. 

Turbo didn't die easily or quickly or nicely. It has been haunting me. It felt like forever until he calmed down though it was only a few minutes. When he was gone, I knew it. I didn't need the vet to use his heart monitor. Turbo was gone. I laid him down on the towel next to Sancho. 

I took a few pics and paid my bill. I didn't even wait for the vet to come back in to checkI left. I was numb and aching all at the same time. I felt broken and I was tired of sobbing in public. 

I got in my van and just sat there, staring down at my hands. My shirt had iguana blood and pee (Sancho lost control of her bowels at the end). My hands and arms were scratched. My head was aching from crying. I was a mess. I just sat there, unable to move. 

I heard a tap on the window. It was my vet. I rolled down the window. He reached in, patted me softly on the shoulder, and said he was sorry. I shrugged in response. I appreciated his gesture but I had nothing to give back. 

Later that night, as my sweet husband wrapped his arms around me, I choked out the experience of Turbo thrashing. The pain of the memory was festering in my heart and I couldn't bear the weight of it. I had to share it. I felt slightly better after telling someone. That's the point of this post too. I can't carry the weight of those sad 5 minutes alone. I need to let them go so I can remember the good times instead. 

I'm so sorry, Turbo. I'm sorry if I made you die. You were so sick and only getting worse. I couldn't watch you suffer any more. I'm sorry the last 5 minutes of your life sucked. I hope you forgot all about it as your sweet iguana soul went back to heaven. I love you dearly. I'll never forget you and I'm sorry. Always remember us snuggling together while I rocked you. Those will always be the happy times. 

With love forever for my handi-capable iguana Sancho and my one eyed lover boy Turbo. You both were the best. 

Bittersweet

My head hurts and my eyes are swollen this morning. There are two less lights to turn on and two less iguanas to give kisses to. :( 

I did something important this morning-- I moved Junie downstairs to the corner cat tree where Sancho spent the last year and a half. 

I didn't want Junie and I didn't know what to do with him when he was brought to my front door. He had been left behind after a local young family was killed in their home in a murder-suicide. He was given to another reptile rescue who kept him in a plastic crate for two weeks and blamed his testiness on having watched his family die (ignoring the obvious fact of being locked in a crate. Ugh!) 

I wasn't technically supposed to have Junie and I had to keep it quiet for awhile. Since Turbo was free roaming in my room and Sancho was in the living room, the only safe place to put Junie was in my craft room upstairs. That's where he's been for the past 4 months. 

Junie seemed to be happy enough (if you can tell if an iguana is happy) and was becoming nicer and calmer. But he didn't get much interaction and he was locked away all the time. 

Now he can be downstairs with the family. I expect him to be a terror for awhile once he discovers his new freedom and all the sunny windows. Over time, I hope he settles in and enjoys the tree to climb and the windows to bask in. I don't think he'll ever be as sweet as Turbo & Sancho were, but I hope he's at least happier than he has been. 

Heartbroken

I stood in the exam room and rocked Turbo and Sancho while we waited for the vet. I rocked them and kissed them and cried. 

Turbo: 

Sancho: 

And I held them as they died and sobbed. 

I am heartbroken. 

Sadness times Two

I knew this day was coming and I've been dreading it. 

And today is the day. :( 

Both of my special iguanas, Turbo & Sancho, have been getting worse, and, instead of waiting until they get worse, I'm opting to have them put down today and then cremated together. 

Turbo has stopped eating. He doesn't move much and he has blood filling his only good eye (he lost his other eye due to a massive blood clot). Sancho's limbs are freezing up and I've rescued her multiple times from being on her back/side. Plus she's losing control of her bowels and can't get her body turned around to get food & heat. 

It's time for both of them. I've put it off as long as possible, but their health keeps getting worse. 

At 4:30, I will take them in and hold them & love on them while my vet puts them down.  I've been heartbroken for days and can't even talk about it without getting choked up. The vet's office knows I will be bawling today and won't expect me to speak. 

The only good thing about putting them down at the same time is that they can be cremated together. Their little box of ashes will sit on my mantle next to the ashes of my beloved doggie Kip. It's a small comfort though. 

I never wanted to rescue iguanas, but these two are the most amazing two I've ever met. 

Here's some of my favorite pics of them: 

Sancho & her sexy leg: 

Sancho giving me loves: 

Turbo giving me loves: 

Turbo showing off some sexy leg: 

Who knew that iguanas could be so much like kitties and become so special to me? I will love these two forever. 

I will still have Junie, a slightly wild male iguana who is a pill. He haunts my craft room. 

And whipped me with his tail Saturday: 

With love to Turbo & Sancho. <3 

3 Iguanas

Why do I have 3 iguanas?

Because I don't want 4. ;) And I can't say "No" to rescuing iguanas kept in crummy conditions. 

Turbo: 

Sancho:

Junie:

Long Overdue Update

I've been a blog slacker! Sorry!

Grumps still has his spastic moments but almost every night he lets me wrap him up in his blankie and snuggle him. 

Chomps kept having severe diarrhea and so I did a fecal test on her, found some pin worms, and deformed her. She is still very thin and not super active, but she eats well and loves to snuggle. 

Turbo got his stitches out and has learned to wear his leash. He is happy to go on walks and meet new people. 

Georgie is still adorable! 

Hermy has been eating great! She gets up early in the morning and walks to the back door to go outside. 

Sancho got a clean bill of health at the vet today. He says she looks good & should still have a long healthy life. 

Milo has had a really bloated belly, but a fecal test only showed a few coccidia. I'm treating him for that to see if it helps. 

Max & Ziggy are anxiously awaiting summer so they can spend their days outside in their summer cages. 

Finn is still a frightened spaz. He does let me wrap him in his blankie at night and cuddle him. He's in my shirt right now. 

Here's me with FOUR snuggled beardies in my shirt -- Chomps, Grumps, Finn, & Milo. 

And just for fun, here's my cute dogs: 

I have foot surgery scheduled for the last Monday  of April. I'll be unable to drive for two weeks and will wear a walking boot for up to 8 weeks. My rescue will be put on hold during my recovery. I'm hopeful that Chomps & Grumps will be well enough to foster by then, but we'll see. 

Sunny Sancho

I came home to find Sancho sunning herself on my bed. She's so beautiful-- even if she's super-handicapped.