Problem solved!!! I took Derek to the vet today because since I got him 12 days ago, he's not been eating or pooping. I started to worry.
Well, Derek is a GIRL! 😱😱 And she's not fat, she's pregnant (sorta)!!! Derek is making infertile eggs and has a lot of ova growing around her ovaries.
Not eating, not moving, not pooping are all bad signs in males, but totally normal in egg laying females. I'm going to wait a couple weeks to see if she lays them. If not, I'll spend the money to have her spayed (about $400) so we don't have to deal with eggs again.
I've had 4 female beardies spayed and it's been fabulous. Undeveloped eggs start to decay in the belly and the resulting infection will kill them.