-No! No mating during breakfast!
-Don't bite the dog! He's not your dinner!
-Did you HAVE to poop on the carpet?!
-I just cleaned your tank, Dude! This is why you can't have nice things!
-Otis! Can you stay out of the kitchen please?!
-Would anybody else like to poop before I leave the house?!
-Fingers are friends, not food!!
-Put that back!
-That's not a roach! Hey! OW! Not a roach!!
-Have you ever thought about just drinking out of your water dish?! Take a sip. Try it sometime.
-Don't step on the tortoise!
-That is not your food! You are not a tortoise!
-Ooooh! Scary! (In a baby voice) You's a scary widdle 'um.
Then I hear things like this from my hubby and kids: "If I overheard you just now and didn't know you had a house full of animals, I'd be very very concerned."