Disheartened

Losing Spyro hurt because it feels I collect credit card debt and buried beardies in my garden the most. I was feeling very discouraged, but felt much calmer after a nice dinner and drive with my husband. 

<Insert Deep Breath> 

But then I came home to find Smaug had thrown up all over his tank and looks as bad as Spyro did last night. He was perfectly fine all day. I have no idea what happened. 

I tried to hold him after I sanitized his cage, but he wasn't having it. I had to just let him go to bed and hope he's still around in the morning. 

Now I'm laying on my bed typing this post on my phone and crying. Nova is sick. Raydan is sick. Nubs is having diarrhea. I have a monitor that won't eat. There are 16 beardies total in my house. I've been working on downsizing and hope two of them will go home this weekend. It all feels overwhelming right now. 

I'm reminded of a line from my favorite books/movies "Anne of Green Gables:" 

Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. 

I'm sure I'll feel better and more capable of shouldering the burden of everything in the morning. This can just be my candid insight into the harsh reality of rescue.