Baby Weary

I continue to feed the three remaining babies twice a day. Some days they'll eat a roach on their own, some days they don't. My sense of paranoia with them is strong. Every little thing they do makes me scrutinize them: are they sickly? are they dying? are they gaining weight? what if they aren't eating? is that one moving?

There was a small sense of relief after the two babies died for not having to wake up and check for breathing. But I'm doing the same thing with the others. Purple is the only baby that I'm sure will be okay; he even ate a piece of zucchini yesterday! Pink & Yellow have good days, when I think they'll survive, and bad days, when I think they're slowing down.

It's a heart-wrenching process. I didn't realize how draining the two babies' deaths were. I sat on my porch swing with my sister-in-law Anne and cried for a few minutes. I couldn't even watch my husband bury them in the herb garden near the others.

I wish they were totally "out of the woods" and healthy so I could breathe a little. But they are still all 5 grams. They do appear to be getting longer, but not heavier. So I'm trying different foods. Yesterday they got some zucchini shreds. Today I fed them some baby food mixed with calcium & vitamins-- they actually ate it off the spoon instead of me squishing it down their throats. I'd love to see them eating more on their own.

So I keep on plugging on, doing my best, and trying to keep my chin up.

On another note, Volcano was adopted out! Yeah! Spike is doing better! Yeah! We're down to only 9 beardies. 4 of my own, 3 babies, 1 Spike, and 1 beardie we're boarding till January.